The crises of community life

This is very good. It applies to all kinds of communities: families, friends, workplaces, intimate relationships, social groups, societies; wherever one human being encounters another human being. I like the suggestion the crises are inevitable and necessary, and that one can surf the crises, rather than run away from them, and thereby emerge into reality …

“There are four great crises of community life. The first comes when we arrive. There are parts of us which cling to the values we have left behind. The second is the discovery that the community is not as perfect as we had thought. The ideal and our illusions crumble; we are faced with reality. The third is when we feel misunderstood and even rejected by the community. The fourth is the hardest: our disappointment with ourselves because of all the anger, jealousies and frustrations that boil up in us. If we are to integrate into community we must know how to pass through these crises. They all imply the losing of illusions and the gradual welcoming of reality as it is.”

~ Jean Vanier, Community and Growth, p136

Image: Sudden shower over Shin-Ōhashi bridge and Atake, Hiroshige, 1857

*

Hiding from pain

This is everywhere in our society, and also in me: the absence of unconditional friendliness towards ourselves

“Some people come to community seeking consolation from the pain of feeling unloved by responding to whatever demands are made of them. Unconsciously there is a thought pattern: ‘If I satisfy your need then you, or the community, or God will be grateful, will appreciate my existence, will love me.’ Ultimately this can never bring true fulfilment or true growth. It is important that we are attentive to this response, so easily disguised by generosity and goodness. We must help each person to live more and more clearly and deeply from an inner confidence of being loved by God just as they are.”

~ Jean Vanier, Community and Growth, p132

Image: Up in the Sky, 1997, Tracey Moffatt

To subscribe to daily thoughts from the publications of Jean Vanier, founder of L’Arche and winner of the Templeton Prize in 2015, go to his website: http://www.jean-vanier.org/en/home

*

Our weakness

“Power and strength can separate people, whereas weakness and recognition of weakness and the cry for help, brings people together. When you are weak, you need people. It’s very easy. When you are strong you don’t need people, you can do everything on your own. So, somewhere the weak person calls people together. And when the weak call forth the strong, what happens is they awaken what is most beautiful in a human person – compassion, goodness, openness to another and so on. Our weakness brings people together.”

~ Jean Vanier, from Belonging: The Search for Acceptance

To subscribe to daily thoughts from the publications of Jean Vanier, founder of L’Arche and winner of the Templeton Prize in 2015, go to his website: http://www.jean-vanier.org/en/home

*